Hidden meaning

A perceptive mind is the bane of my existence

But I was ignorant once and perhaps no less disturbed.

I envied the wily and the smarts

I gymnasted with their ways and words

Until my mind too grew as twisted and contorted

Some say I'm a devil of my own creation

A spider entangled in his own web

But its in Nature -

that a budding flower will hide its scent within greater convolutions of petals

Only I am not certain what great scent I hide in my convoluted center

Save the increasing apathy and disdain to human life

the way we lead it.

And our naked fickleness

clothed in what we call emotions

A perceptive mind is the bane of my existence

But I wasn't always so, and was prone to confusion.

There is this feeling in the gut

When a loved one says all the right words

and does all the right things

and yet - something seems not right.

When I express it - I'm a suspicious bastard

When I don't - I live in my own little hell

The beauty of confusion is it belies the semblance of hope

The hope that things will turn out well

That things will turn out as intended

...As true as waves dashed on a craggy outcrop

A perceptive mind learns how to be calm

In the face of all that is a lie

Bonds of friendship, fealty, faith and love.

All meant to be broken

All meant to be betrayed

Perhaps it is in the nature of things to break and be born anew

A perceptive mind learns to enjoy things while they last

and then move on in hedonist search

And maybe i am stronger now - having evolved to enjoy the ephemeral

But I wasn't always so strong - there was a time I believed in forever...

Kholo kholo darwaaze

Kholo kholo darwaaze parde karo kinarekhunte se bandhi hai hawaa mil ke chhudao saare

aajao patang leke apne hi rang leke aasman ka shamiyana aaj humein hai sajaana

..kyun is kadar...hairaan tu

mausam ka hai...mehmaan tu

...duniya saji

tere liye

khud ko zara

pehchaan tu

...tu dhoop hai chham se bikhar

tu hai nadi, o bekhabar

beh chal kahin udd chal kahin

dil khush jahan

teri to manzil wahin

...o kyun is kadar hairaan tu

mausam ka hai, mehmaan tu

baasi zindagi udaasi taazi hasne ko raazi garmagaram saari abhi abhi hai utari

oo zindagi to hai bataasha mithi mithi si hai aasha chakh le rakhle hateyli se dhakhle ise..

..tujh mein agar...pyaas hai

baarish ka ghar bhi paas hai

o roke tujhe... koi kyun bhalaa

sang sang tere ... akaash hai

tu dhoop hai...chham se bikhar...

tu hai nadi... o bekhabar

beh chal kahin... udd chal kahin

dil khush jahan.... teri to manzil hai wahin.........

..... khul gaya... aasmaan ka rasta dekho khul gaya

.... mil gaya... kho gaya tha jo sitara mil gaya

..roshan hui ... saari zameen... jagmag hua saara jahan...

o o uddne ko tu... azaad hai...

bandhan koi... ab hai kahaan...

tu dhoop hai...chham se bikhar..

tu hai nadi, o bekhabar

...beh chal kahin... udd chal kahin..

dil khush jahan... teri to manzil hai wahin...

...o o kyun iss kadar... hairaan tu...

...mausam ka hai... mehmaan tu.

:-)

ALONE

I still want to walk besides you

But don’t want to hold your hand

I keep talking through my silences

Coz my words don’t mean anything to you.

I’m watching you float away

While you’re busy dancing around me

I’m just all alone amidst the crowd

That looks like you but isn’t.

Something

Now when I perceive lack of something,

Its almost a third person Me violently pointing it out to me.

And I make a numb observation.

I make note. And commence the chase.

But it was once, when I could understand.

The lack of something,

Which would unlock the door

To everything.

Lack is real.

But perception is realative.

Desire for something is a realative state of being;

No other reality exists, save that.

Somewhere I sinned just like the rest of us...

I worked towards the fulfilment of that desire -

To attain that state;

To make something;

To get everything.

Lack is real.

The lack – of money, friendship, power and prestige.

That lack, purportedly, turns into a reality shaped and nurtured by perception

Perception that instils desire, borne of lack.

Desire acts on fertile plains of the mind to grow dreams.

Dreams of another reality, almost too perfect almost too good.

What is too good, often is untrue.

That, therefore, borne of untruth

Is a lie, poisonous for to a living soul.

Death of the soul is not death for the body

It opens the portals to that alternate reality

That which is real, is lack.

That which I have isn’t just quite enough

I need more to grow

I have a face now

That face is recognized everywhere

I’m the new entrant, one with the Power.

I have the power to get what I lack

I have the power to make my own reality

And there is no end to it

Now my face attracts money, wealth

and Friends...

Now I am the leader

And the only way to lead, is to stay ahead of the pack

The pack of hungry wolves, their eyes full of hungry dreams

We’re wolves, all...Bad wolves.

Good – it’s just a perception.

Good needs prey too - it preys on evil.

Always a cycle of feeding.

Each one - A hunter, until hunted down.

Mindless and benumbing, the quest for something

It is not of this world; and how are we to have what is not ours in the first place??

Ours – its a world of perception. Not Reality.

Ours – is not the prey, not the victory, not wealth nor happiness nor peace of mind.

Ours is the thirst for blood.

Ours – is the struggle to experience and overcome each day.

Ours is just the mindless chase and not the purposeful hunt.

Not for us to be sated. And so we must wander.

Always looking for Something.