When a Womanizer, ...

I am the Master Lover

And there is no shame in that claim.

It is truth borne of honesty

and labors of love, for my name.

I celebrate woman, not with her

I say the right words, not just know which

I do the right things, not just practice what

I have Her, not just want to

I love Her, don’t need

I take Her in bed, not to it.

I demand attention, without giving.

I listen, not just keep shut.

I don’t just uncover, I explore.

I bring a smile to her lips;

any joker could make Her laugh

I won’t compete, She is mine

I don’t impress, just offer Myself

It’s not support, just that I stand with Her

She cannot claim, just ask

We don’t talk, but converse

We are agreed to disagree

Enjoy freedom as it should be

Spectre...

What is ideal in a lover?

What is heartache such that it can only be experienced and not said?

What is involvement that can only be felt; like being surrounded by the walls of a whirlpool and stand at the centre of it, untouched by calamity and yet, so palpitatingly achingly close to it.. like you could reach out and touch it and invite chaos, pandemonium and destruction into your life.. yet there is so much peace just standing at the centre of it - why to forsake it all?

What is a feeling of possession and jealousy that conquers all feelings beautiful and consumes in its green licking flames all thoughts of sobriety and propriety and pity and selflessness and love?What thoughts can pretty much extinguish all thoughts of real love for the rabid sensation of feeling in posssession or ownership of something and sublime and suffused as sunlight falling through gossamer. Even little children fight and possess over their toys until they are tired of them, or the sheen is lost, or a new toy takes its place.

Who is my love for me? Who am I for you indeed?

The question is not for you to tell me what you want to do.. but, what is it that i want from you? How do I desire you and how is it that I want to have you? Half baked? dressed or naked? rare...or, deceptively done...?

Senses

see
hear
smell
taste
touch

feel
experience
enjoy
learn
understand
realize
know
transcend

peace

light

then.. nothing.

When tears flow

moments of silence
moments of darkness
the few moments i cherish
when i pick up my pieces
and join them together
to become whole
even if for a moment or two
but to experience feelings that are so true
that i thought i had buried them
or that had died on me a long long time ago
and when it all comes together like that
i feel so overwhelmed
so very overwhelmed
that tears flow.
and i'd thought that my tears had long dried up
and now they flow again
and now i live again.

Aaj aekhane thakle Ma, tomar kole matha rekhe shanti-r ghum ghumatam. Increasingly i find myself disillusioned with this world around me. I find solace when i am with you Ma, when i hold your picture close to me and kiss you... i feel safer and more stable. i feel you reassuring me ki you are always with me, that your hand is guiding me around.
and Ma, let me thank you. Tumi theek bolo aamar lekha uchit kaeno je aete-i mone-r shanti pai.

Be...

Love. Trust. Believe. Care. Be free. Surrender to the power that is life. be a man. Be a woman. Be whole. be complete. Be them all now. Do them all now. Experience this power NOW. and taste the taste of life. feel the boundless infinity of being. Enjoy the freedom. be alive. be here. be there. be everywhere. BE....

Maaaamaaaaaaaaa

Aajke ma tomar kotha khub mone por chhilo...
memories of you...
I want to say one thing about my mother, that she fought till the very end. Not everyone can see death coming imminently and still say - amake shanti te morte dao. Let me die and go away in peace. May be she always had a nascent death desire within her,.. or maybe that was just the way she was destined to exit from this most thankless and unfair life, this birth that was totally unfiar on God's part to have put untold sufferings in her fate. That she fought though her whole life and even to the end is testimony to the iron will that lay beneath the beauty that was my Ma. She had her follies and failings but they were those of an indignant child, a child no one pampered or cared to understand. She was envied by all and admired by so many.
I just wish you are very very happy and peaceful wherever you are, my mother. And i want you to know that i know you will always be with me and when i die, i will once again come and rest my head on your lap and go to sleep a peaceful sleep. Amake chhere kaeno chole jete holo tomar ma?I love you very much Maaamaaaaaaaaaaaa.............